This is a little recap from last years column in case you have not seen Dr. Wood’s thoughts about wetter sex, healthy sexuality and a whole lot more! Have a read!
This month, we continue the theme of Making Sex even Wetter with a few things you’ll wish you’d always known about men and women…
About Women: The more she’s moaning, and groaning, and the more excited she sounds, and the more heavily she’s breathing, the more she is saying “KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING!” This is in direct contrast to “YES! Let’s stop this hot, arousing, juicy activity that I am thoroughly enjoying, and start a completely different thing that will last about 1-2 minutes, be somewhat hot, but then, end so suddenly, that I am again left OH-SO-FRUSTRATED! And rather …cuddly!” (the over-cuddles of the sexually frustrated!)
Because we are told that her pleasure is “for play”, we might miss that this may just BE the sex she’s been wanting and needing!
DON’T STOP! The more noise she makes and the heavier she’s breathing, the more she wants you to do EXACTLY what you’re doing for a MUCH longer time! And it’s not about time at all—it’s about satisfaction. She CAN get there, just keep doing what gets her going till she advises otherwise.
Ladies! Don’t make them do it all by themselves!! You’re there! BE there! Help the poor lads out! Give ‘em some direction if they’re lost—no one told them how to do this! Why not touch your own body (don’t be shy!) and take over on the clitoris for a while, so your lover can focus on something you can’t do when you’re alone! Four hands can be better than two!
And if intercourse is sprinkled in at any time, do not let that stop the clitoris activity!! Putting a stop to clitoris stimulation can drop a woman’s orgasm stats drastically! Ideally a woman’s 2nd or 3rd orgasm is underway by the time any intercourse is initiated. Even then, don’t stop! Keep those orgasms coming! The rhythmic contractions of the orgasmic genitals squeezing the penis shaft will make any guy thrilled he didn’t skip the good parts this time around. And hopefully never again!
About men: when you’re touching a man, it’s the same. More noise, and moaning, equals DO MORE OF THAT! Don’t be shy to ask for advice: Faster? Slower? Here? There? Or ask your favorite gay man for advice!! He’s likely got LOADS of ideas. (Don’t worry! Whistler ALWAYS has PRIDE going on!) One thing he might tell you, is at least PRETEND you LOVE what you’re doing!
There is so much shaming around oral sex and all foreplay for men and women, we forget that we might REALLY LOVE trying to turn our lovers on for HOURS. We are so shy to explore, that we focus on the known—which is SO LITTLE.
Sex is fun, folks! Enjoy giving and receiving! Alternate. Explore! Play! And communicate! “Yes that! Not so fast! Harder!” It’s ok to say!!! Make some noise! It doesn’t have to be loud, but it sure as heck could be proud! No lover wants to play the guessing game about whether you’d like to really be there or not! A little “mmm hmmm!” here or there, can go a long way—or take you there!
Try a month of lovin’ without intercourse. Triple your wetness! Change your sexual outlook! Get excited about each other’s bodies! And don’t let anyone or your mind tell you it’s BAD or WRONG to feel so good, or to make someone else feel so good. Foreplay is some of the best sex out there. Don’t get fooled into thinking it’s a means to some other end.
Imagine that your main goal is to watch your lover have the most satisfying sexual experience ever—at your hands! You want THEM to experience the maximum sexual pleasure, and you are going to enjoy watching them have it, and enjoy being part of creating it. Now really, take a moment and imagine it! …
So? What did it look like? Intercourse? Unlikely. Or, hopefully not, rather, or we’ll have to send you back to re-read December/January/February’s columns!!
Go use your imagination. Play with pleasing yourself and your significant other. Pretend there is “no goal” to sex. Just BE with each other, in a way that doesn’t skip over the things that truly make sex WETTER and BETTER. If Lorri Petty starred in the movie Mermaids, this could loosely make sense: Brangelina. See last month’s safe-sexy tip for a few more ideas. And please, DON’T STOP as soon as the going gets good. That’s when you KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
Please always, BE SAFE, not SORRY. Once your sex life is as juicy as can be, you’ll be so glad you kept it healthy. The JUICIER your sex life, the more ravenously you’ll want to protect it. In the meantime, just trust that it’s worth protecting forever!