Safe-sexy

Safe-Sexy Tip for January

Time for a New Year’s SEXUAL Resolution!

Hey, why not?! Resolve to have a revolution in your sex life! Make your sex wetter this year.  Or better.  Or safer.  Or hotter.  Or all of the above! Sure you might need some extra towels..!  But let’s face it, unless you’re trying to conceive, the focus on intercourse could easily be replaced by a good number of hotter/safer/wetter activities that could revolutionize your sex lives, and keep you healthy & happy.

There is so much fear-mongering around sex and its drastic, frightful, unplanned outcomes.  For some still unexplained reason, this fear promotes MORE focus on the already too-heavily-focused activity that so many people equate with “sex”, that is, “intercourse”.  Fortunately, for men, the chances are up in the >95th percentile that you will have an orgasmic outcome with this activity.  For women, however, that number is less that 10%.  Ugh!  And yet, there are all kinds of people who scratch their head and wonder what’s wrong with the >90% of women who don’t cum from intercourse alone!  The poor straight man wonders why he can’t “do it for her,” while the woman wonders why she can’t “cum for him”.  Truth is, intercourse alone, especially when things are dry ( = ouch!!!) is just NOT how most women get wet enough to enjoy anything enough to reach orgasm.  And let’s face it, it’s SEXY when your lover is as turned on as you are!

So how do we make things wetter?  Well, next month we talk about FOREPLAY for better/wetter sex, in detail; the following month pros/cons/how-to’s of LUBE; and the month after, we uncover the wonderful world of Female Ejaculation/Amrita/Gushing/Ejanulation.

This month:  some fundamentals!!  Women:  find your clitoris; touch it; wet it with your own vaginal juices or your own saliva (if you’re not prone to cold sores = herpes); rub soft, med, hard; try slow, fast, light, rough, sideways, up/down, vibes, shower heads, bath hoses, whatever!  Just find it, use it, and let your mind go WHEREVER IT WANTS while you’re at it.  Men with female lovers:  I could tell you to spend all day looking for the erectile-tissue-jackpot-of-her-dreams, and figure out how to go fast enough, slow enough, this way enough, that way enough, OR, I could tell you an easy trick:  invite/encourage her to show you how! If she’s shy, encourage more!  If she doesn’t know the answer herself, explore together, and encourage self-pleasure (tell her to read my September SafeSexyTip, or see a sex therapist–there are answers and help!) And if safe, healthy, sober partner choice, and proper protection allows for mutually desired intercourse, encourage her to keep showing you how it’s done DURING the intercourse. A woman without her hand between her legs is one who will likely remain a bit frustrated after her man’s said and done.  Let’s make it HOT for women to touch their SPOT!  The outcum is spectacular for everyone! So encourage, watch, wet, wait, and win—a brand new sex life experience.   Happy New Year to you!

Do remember:  all body fluids can transmit viruses.  For example, your own saliva can spread herpes to your own genitals to be freshly handed out to your partners.  Other people’s saliva can carry herpes even when they don’t have an active cold sore.  Genital herpes is transmitted even in the absence of visible or painful herpes lesions, and can be passed to contacted genitals or mouths or bums or breasts or skin–even via shared ChapStick! Remember, viruses like to party as much as you do.

So I re-emphasize:  the safest sex you can have is with yourself.  And you deserve to be your hottest lover–so practice Self-Love (see Sept/Oct Safe Sexy Tips).  Make Self-Love Hot & Sexy.

Sex with others this year, can focus on carefully-chosen, sober partners, and well-protected fun:  condoms for vaginal, oral, anal penetration; dental dams for other oral sex and gloves for fingers/hands/etc in vaginal, testicular, or anal areas.  Protection is as HOT as you make it!  MAKE SAFE SEX HOT!  And MAKE HOT SEX SAFE!  Your LIFE-LONG SEX-LIFE is worth the investment!

It’s time for a sexual resolution!  Have a Happy Healthy 2013!

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